My entire phone inbox got deleted tonight.
It was quite a jarring experience.
Especially because I didn’t do it on purpose.
I know that it’s worlds better than having your phone stolen, or even getting it lost.
But it felt so surreal.
Seeing your same phone – same body, same housing, screen and application.
It was an empty black space with no threads of contacts and message excerpts whatsoever.
All memories you wanted to keep, and messages you wanted to save in case you ever needed written proof of anything, gone. Digital memories – of things that were sweet, touched your heart, made you laugh or angered you – disappeared.
Again, just really jarring. It was so jarring i don’t think I believed it for the first minute after it happened.
I thought maybe the screen just had a glitch or the application stalled. I kept closing and reopening the app.
But nope, gone.
These moments are so interesting. See, it could be seen as “emotional”, except is also seems trivial (lost text messages probably won’t strike anyone as catastrophic), and it’s also so final that there’s no choice but to accept.
You just bury the regret in your brain. Try to make sense of it. Make it seem philosophical — try to say that it might be some symbolism or lesson.
Of how my desire to hold onto and hoard everything kept me from easily finding what was valuable, in the din of everything I tried to save.
Or that it’s a foreshadowing of how my laziness about decluttering will ultimately bite me in the ass.
Anyway. Inbox gone. Weird sense of pain.