Because, somewhere along the way, I forgot to have fun.
When I was in college, they made us take a personality psychological test – all approximately 2,000 of us in our batch of freshman enrollees. The results were given to us after a couple of months — percentiles: to represent how we fared or how we were as individuals relative to our peers.
I was in the 98th percentile for Play. I was the zero percentile mark for Organization.
Fast forward to a decade later, and people are saying I’m too uptight and that I need to just let go and let loose. I never imagined I would be on the receiving of advice like that, ever.
I have this weird belief in God/Fate/The Great Spirits that Drive the Earth posting “reminders” for me about my life through coincidental things I chance upon through the mass media or Internet. Yeah, I know it’s psychologically unsound. A pop psych book (Can’t remember. But along the lines of Upside or Irrationality) has written about our mind playing tricks on us by making meaning out of coincidental occurrences. But, whatever works for you and helps you become a good person, right?
Anyway, this past week had a theme.
I went surfing for the first time last weekend. Apparently, all the hype was real. I want to tell all my loved ones to try it at least once in their lives.
A few days ago, I saw this delightfully timely photoset on Freshly Pressed: Fun & Games by Steve McCurry.
And, the next day, on my facebook newsfeed was this image:
That quote (above) got me thinking.
You see, that last image kind of sums up what I’ve been meaning to do for the past half-year, but I hadn’t gotten the chance to really plan it out until now.
Somewhere along these years, I forgot to just have fun. It was my job, my age, my fears all bundling up. It was my guilt. For years, in fact, all my life, I’ve been whimsical, playful, you couldn’t get a serious squeak out of me. Even in serious moments, I would make fun.
Then, it all went away. Without me even realizing it. Is started out effortful. I was so angry at myself for not being able to shut up and mature. I’m still not mature, just somber. I felt like there was no more room in the world for the inanity I used to revel in. I guess it was realizing that I lived a shallow life punched up with a dash of self-hate.
But, the Fun & Games post, and that Elbert Hubbard quote… maybe I just need to find balance again. Maybe this time I’ve swung too far and it’s made me half a person.
Have fun. I have to remember. Thanks, Lord. Thanks, Internet. Life is too short to spend it moping around all the time.